so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
