i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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