There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
