There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
