im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
