Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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