his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
