Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
