It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
