I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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