Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
