"it" just moved
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
