Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
