I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
