By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
