can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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