Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
