Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
