I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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