U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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