I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
