just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He? As in you personified your dick?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
