Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
