Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
