I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
