If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
