i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
