oh god the rape fog is back!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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