Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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