I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
