So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
