meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
A bitchslap is in order.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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