I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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