Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
