I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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