I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
