is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
