You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
