thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
