I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
