They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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