You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
