No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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