This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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