I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
try to milk me bitch
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