He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
