there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im holly from the hills drunk
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
