I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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