none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to calm my uterus...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
