i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
