just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
