Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
