Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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